FOUR UNRELATED THINGS.

Every once in a while all the evil gremlins that can plague a parts department will get together over a beer and plot to destroy a good working relationship with one customer. They don't normally work together but sometimes the planets align just right and...

 1) It is prime riding season in early May and a customer requires a part to get his motorcycle back the road.

 2) The part is one of the smallest bits on the whole damn bike but one of the most expensive.

 3) When the part is ordered the manufacturer says there are 3 in stock but 15 minutes later when the order is placed...poof...gone.

 4) The part is now back ordered with no ETA and will be coming in on a boat from Japan.

 5) The boat from Japan finally docks in Vancouver...during a dockworkers strike.

 6) The truck finally picks up the parts in Vancouver and sets out for Toronto for distribution...driver stops in Calgary for a coffee at the restaurant next door to our shop...unbeknownst to us.

 7) The distribution centre in Toronto finally gets the part, puts it on a shelf, loses our order, finds our order and puts it on a truck for Calgary.

 8) The Calgary distribution centre gets the part, loses the part, finds the part and puts it on a truck for delivery to our shop.

 9) We are the last delivery on the truck. On its way it hits a tree. The part is transferred to a second truck. The second truck is struck by a meteor. The part is transferred to a third truck and then delivered.

10) Part is finally in our hands. We make the call to  the customer. "Merry Christmas, your part is here".

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Why does water taste better in a water glass? It tastes weird in a coffee mug. Wine tastes better in a wine glass and weird in a water glass. Coffee tastes best in a mug and, well, I think you get the point. What I wonder, though, is do these things really taste better in the designated glassware or muggery, or have I been brainwashed by marketers?  I don't have an answer but I do have a cupboard and hutch filled with a plethora (yes, plethora. I be edumicated) of single purpose liquid holders.

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I am at an awkward stage in my life. I am lucky enough to still have my parents hanging about spending my inheritance and kids of my own who are thinking the same of me. When I don't hear from my folks for a couple of weeks, or from my kids, I get worried, phone calls abound, messages are left and concern grows. Inevitably, when the calls are returned, they were busy playing hockey or golf or skiing or out for a walk or a drive...and that's just my parents. I gotta get a life of my own.

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I don't like going into downtown Calgary. The lanes are narrow, the streets are always one-way in the opposite direction you need to go, 7th avenue is Calgary transit only, 8th avenue is pedestrians only and the one road from the core to 10th avenue is made invisible by the latest military grade stealth technology. And then there's parking.

This is how parking works in downtown Calgary. You will never find street parking as there are only 3 spots and they are always taken. There are privately owned lots that will tow your car because you are 30 seconds late but you were late because the lot attendant was slow in taking your money. Which leaves the parkades. Oh my...the parkades.

Here is how the parkades work. First you have to find one with space. Then you drive up and get a ticket. Next, the 300 mile drive as you go switchback and up and switchback and up then circle left then circle right; over and over again as you pass hundreds of empty spots that are reserved 24 hours a day for rich people who never park there. Once you find a spot and park you then have to find a way out. Stairs will dead end, elevators won't work and rappelling down the side of the building is frowned upon by the constabulary. Assuming you know the magic password that gets you out, you do whatever silly thing you needed to do downtown and reverse the exit process to get back to your vehicle...oh, I forgot...payment.

Payment is handled by an automated box. It takes Visa, MasterCard and American Express...but not a debit card. It takes cash in the form of bills and cash in the form of coins. It gives change in the form of bills but NOT in coins so if your parking bill is $6.00 and you put in a $10.00 bill, it cost you $10.00 to park.

Then there is the drive out. I really don't know how the engineers built these buildings but as you take the spinny roundabout ramp down the parkade to the street, the building itself also spins so your exit forces you to go out onto a one way street in the opposite direction to which you require. This one way street will also be the only one in the entire city that goes 28 miles without the ability to turn around.

I'll stick to the suburban malls, thank you very much.