1) Today I started my new "Cross-Fat" training program. In addition to the usual high fat, high carb regular diet there will be alternate days on the couch watching TV eating bacon, with days in a comfy chair with a book eating potato chips. Too much coffee every day with wine, beer, and scotch on days deemed appropriate. (Appropriate defined as days of the week ending with the letter "Y") Vegetables by accident or deep fried and exercise...hahahaha...exercise. Of course there might be work tucked in there somewhere...we'll see.
2) Work is trying to kill me. I don't mean in the figurative way as in"Work is killing me!" but in the literal way, as in actively out to end my life. Traps have been set and I have come close to death.
We have a mezzanine where we store stuff and to get to the stuff there is, of course, a set of stairs. As you walk up the stairs on the very top step there is a sign. The sign says "Watch Your Head". This is the trap. As you look up to watch for low hanging head bangers (clearance is really about 10 FEET) what you don't notice is the last step is actually 3 inches taller than the rest of the steps. What's the big deal you ask? Place a 3 inch piece of wood on a top step, get in the rhythm of walking up 16 steps and then see what happens when that last step is taller.
3) I like toast. All kinds of toast. White, whole wheat, sourdough, rye, you name it and I will probably like it. And on my toast I like peanut butter. Not crunchy peanut butter, smooth peanut butter. If I am feeling in the mood I might add jam or, on rare occasions, honey. Some times I will get a craving, bad as it is, and go with Cheez Whiz instead of peanut butter on my toast. Those of you waiting for a point or a punchline...nope...I just like toast and thought you should know.
4) I am waiting for the day when someone sues Planters Peanuts because of an allergic reaction to the peanuts and the reason for the lawsuit is Planters did NOT have a notice on the jar of peanuts that said it may contain peanuts.
5) Time is not a constant, it is relative. You want proof? Consider this. You are finally asleep after tossing and turning for hours when your alarm goes off; you hit the snooze button, which is set for 15 minutes, close your eyes and in 15 minutes off it goes again. Now, another situation. You are on your way home from work and are almost there when you come to a train crossing currently occupied by, well, a train. The train will clear the crossing in 5 minutes but you had that extra coffee at work and forgot to go pee before you left. Which is longer, The 15 minute snooze or the 5 minute train?
We have a mezzanine where we store stuff and to get to the stuff there is, of course, a set of stairs. As you walk up the stairs on the very top step there is a sign. The sign says "Watch Your Head". This is the trap. As you look up to watch for low hanging head bangers (clearance is really about 10 FEET) what you don't notice is the last step is actually 3 inches taller than the rest of the steps. What's the big deal you ask? Place a 3 inch piece of wood on a top step, get in the rhythm of walking up 16 steps and then see what happens when that last step is taller.
3) I like toast. All kinds of toast. White, whole wheat, sourdough, rye, you name it and I will probably like it. And on my toast I like peanut butter. Not crunchy peanut butter, smooth peanut butter. If I am feeling in the mood I might add jam or, on rare occasions, honey. Some times I will get a craving, bad as it is, and go with Cheez Whiz instead of peanut butter on my toast. Those of you waiting for a point or a punchline...nope...I just like toast and thought you should know.
4) I am waiting for the day when someone sues Planters Peanuts because of an allergic reaction to the peanuts and the reason for the lawsuit is Planters did NOT have a notice on the jar of peanuts that said it may contain peanuts.
5) Time is not a constant, it is relative. You want proof? Consider this. You are finally asleep after tossing and turning for hours when your alarm goes off; you hit the snooze button, which is set for 15 minutes, close your eyes and in 15 minutes off it goes again. Now, another situation. You are on your way home from work and are almost there when you come to a train crossing currently occupied by, well, a train. The train will clear the crossing in 5 minutes but you had that extra coffee at work and forgot to go pee before you left. Which is longer, The 15 minute snooze or the 5 minute train?
