CATS VS DOGS VS...

We here in Canada are a nation of pet owners and as such the burning pet question is almost always...

"Are you a cat person or a dog person?"

Ask that question anywhere in Canada and most people will not only know what you are talking about but also have pretty strong feelings one way or another. Except, of course, that small minority that says "Either/or; both are delicious." But we'll leave that tale (tail?) for another day.

I, personally, am a dog kinda guy, my lovely wife is a dog gal and, because I raised them right, my 2 sons are dog guys. I have had dogs from the time I was a kid to now; with only a single misguided year, living on the dark side, when I had a cat...who was weird. He used to sleep in the bathroom sink. Stupid cat. Anyway, I am a dog guy.

Some people, so I've heard, are both dog and cat people...at the same time...which makes me wonder, "How do you afford all the meds you require to keep that split personality of yours under control?" Just seems wrong to me. I mean, there's your dog, a tail waggin', face lickin', bundle of fur and unquestioning love and on the other hand, a spittin', scratchin', disdainful (unless hungry) spawn of Satan cat. You've got to be nuts to have both. I suppose you might say the two extremes balance each other out but...you would be wrong.

Then there are those folks, way out on the fringe, with strange and unnatural ideas of what constitutes a pet. Fish? Tartar sauce and french fries, not pets. Rabbits, chickens, small pigs, big pigs or cows? Bar-B-Que, not pets. Guinea pigs, hamsters, or rats? Lab testing not pets. Birds, lizards or spiders? Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you? Definitely not pets!

And then there are horses.

Horses kind of fall into a special category for me. I don't like them close up as they are stubborn, face eating, bone breaking, natural born killers with a species wide grudge against me. Don't know why, but they do. However, they are beautiful animals (from afar) and girls like them. Mine included. And I like rodeo. So I understand owning a horse but I wouldn't call them pets...scary beasties...not pets.

Oh...almost forgot...Snakes! Got a friend who loves snakes and has had them as pets. She is a lovely , kind person. But snakes? Nope. Nope. Nope.

So, to re-cap, dogs are the only proper pet. If you do not like dogs but think you still want a pet...get a motorcycle.