ADVENTURES AT THE GROCERY STORE.

I am lounging about this Father's Day doing Father's Day stuff; which is, for the most part, nothing. The boys have called to wish me a happy dad's day and I have called my own dad to do the same. As far as I'm concerned my Sunday obligations are complete and there should be no reason why I can't concentrate on the "doing nothing" part for the rest of the day. Of course, I am married to a gorgeous lady who, on occasion, thinks otherwise.

The Lovely Explorer is spending the day organizing her basement space and doing laundry. As one of the prime ingredients in a successful laundry day is laundry soap it behooves the laundry doer to have enough on hand. Oops. Someone is no longer doing nothing, someone is off to the grocery store. I ask if we need anything else and she tells me no so off I go...the adventure begins.

As I am a fan of cooking I know one does not just go into the grocery store for one item. It cannot be done; just ain't possible. In anticipation of this I grab a shopping cart and notice something new. Safeway is no longer requiring money to take a cart. Hurray for Safeway. I also notice said carts have changed shape. The bottom rack that was so conducive to standing on whilst barrelling down an aisle like a teenage (or middle-age) hooligan has been shortened to the point where you cannot reach it with your feet. I am now delegated to the ranks of well-behaved adulthood while in Safeway. Boo, Safeway.

Right, fine, I shall behave. Knowing full well how my fuzzy little brain works I head straight to the section of the store with laundry stuff. If I don't get the only thing I'm here for right off the bat I get distracted by shiny things and walk out $300.00 later without what I went in for. Laundry soap in cart...check...time for some wandering. As expected, 30 minutes later and a full cart of not laundry stuff I am in search of an open till.

Everybody who has ever shopped knows what comes next. Why are there 12 checkouts but only ever 2 or 3 open? I have been in large department stores and grocery stores all over western North America and it's always the same...10-15 checkouts and only 2-3 open...ever. I have been in stores early in the morning, late at night, weekdays and weekends and it's always the same.

At this point, my question is not where is the staff to man these checkouts, my question is why are there so many checkouts in the first place? Who designs these things? Every square foot of a grocery store (or big box store) is designed to generate sales. What the hell happened here at the checkouts?

"Hey Bob. I got all the designs in place for the new Safeway except the checkouts. Want me to finish up before I go home?"

"Nah, Jim, head on home, I'll get the new guy to finish up."

"The new guy? But, all he's ever designed are major Calgary road overpasses and intersections!"

"Yeah, this could be fun. Have a good night."

And on that note, Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there.

Love you Dad.